What managers actually need to know when someone is struggling
Most managers want to support their people. The difficulty is that wanting to help and knowing how to help are two very different things.
When someone in your team starts behaving differently, withdrawing, becoming less engaged, taking more time off or simply not seeming themselves, it can be difficult to know what to do. You might worry about saying the wrong thing, getting involved in something that feels outside your role, or finding yourself faced with a situation you do not know how to handle.
These are questions I hear regularly from managers. They also point towards something we do not always talk about enough when we talk about workplace mental health:
Managers do not need to have all the answers. They do need to know what they can do next.
For me, there are four simple principles that can help managers approach these situations with greater confidence:
Notice. Listen. Support. Signpost.
They are not intended to turn managers into counsellors or mental health professionals. They are about giving managers a practical starting point when they are concerned about someone in their team.
1. Notice
The first step is often simply noticing that something has changed.
That might be a change in someone’s behaviour, attendance, performance, mood or engagement. Perhaps someone who is usually chatty has become very quiet, someone who is normally reliable starts arriving late, or someone who is usually confident stops contributing in meetings. Sometimes it is harder to put your finger on exactly what has changed; you simply have a sense that someone does not seem quite themselves.
None of these things automatically mean that someone is experiencing a mental health difficulty. There may be many reasons for a change in behaviour, and it is important not to make assumptions or try to diagnose what is happening.
But a change can be a reason to pay attention.
Managers are often in a good position to notice these changes because they see people regularly and understand what is normal for their team. The important thing is not to move from “I have noticed something” to “I know what is wrong.” Instead, it is about being curious enough to create an opportunity for a conversation.
That might start with something as simple as:
“I have noticed you seem a little quieter than usual. How are things?”
You are not making a diagnosis. You are simply letting someone know that you have noticed and that you are willing to listen.
2. Listen
Once you have noticed a change, the next step is creating an opportunity for someone to talk.
That does not mean sitting someone down and demanding an explanation. It might be a quiet conversation over a coffee, a check-in after a team meeting or simply asking how someone is doing when you have noticed that something seems different.
The important thing is the opportunity.
Sometimes the answer will be, “I am fine.” And that is okay. You cannot force someone to open up. What you can do is make it clear that the door is open and that they can come back to you if they need to.
Listening also means resisting the temptation to immediately solve the problem. When someone tells you they are struggling, it is very natural to start thinking about what you can do to fix it. But managers are not therapists, and they do not need to diagnose someone’s situation, provide counselling or come up with the perfect answer.
Sometimes the most useful thing you can do is listen, acknowledge what someone has said and give them space to work out what they need.
You do not have to fix the person in front of you. You need to be willing to listen to them.
3. Support
This is where understanding your role as a manager becomes particularly important.
Supporting someone does not mean taking responsibility for their mental health. It means understanding what is within your role and what support you can reasonably provide in the workplace.
Depending on the circumstances, that might include:
- agreeing practical changes to help someone manage their workload
- making sure they know what support is available within the organisation
- checking in with them again rather than treating one conversation as the end of the matter
- understanding relevant workplace policies and processes
- creating an environment where talking about wellbeing is not seen as a weakness
- knowing when a situation needs to involve HR, occupational health or another appropriate source of support.
It is equally important to recognise your own boundaries. A manager can be caring, compassionate and supportive without becoming responsible for solving someone’s personal circumstances.
Good management does not mean having every answer. It means knowing what is within your role, what is not, and what to do when you need additional support.
4. Signpost
Sometimes the right next step is not something you provide yourself. It is helping someone find the appropriate support.
That might be an internal service, an Employee Assistance Programme, occupational health, their GP, a specialist organisation or another appropriate professional or support route. The right option will depend on the individual and the circumstances, which is why managers need to understand the support available within their own organisation.
The important thing is knowing those routes before you need them.
When a manager is faced with a difficult conversation, the last thing they need is to be thinking, “I know this person needs more support, but I have absolutely no idea where to send them.”
Good signposting gives both the manager and the employee a clearer next step. It also reinforces an important boundary:
You do not have to be the solution. You can help someone find the right solution.
What Notice. Listen. Support. Signpost does not mean
It is worth being clear about this, because one of the concerns managers often have is that being more aware of mental health will somehow make them responsible for dealing with everything. It doesn’t.
Giving managers more confidence around mental health does not mean turning them into counsellors or clinicians. It does not mean asking them to diagnose mental health conditions, solve complex personal problems or take responsibility for preventing every mental health difficulty within their teams.
Instead, it is about helping managers understand their role and giving them enough knowledge and confidence to recognise when something may have changed, respond appropriately and understand what to do next.
That distinction can take a lot of pressure away.
Because one of the reasons managers can avoid these conversations is that they believe they need to know exactly what to say.
They don’t. They need to know how to start.
Why manager capability matters
This is also why workplace mental health support cannot only be about what happens once somebody reaches crisis point.
Having support available is important, but organisations also need to think about what happens before someone reaches that point. Are managers able to recognise changes? Do they feel comfortable starting a conversation? Do they understand their responsibilities and boundaries? Do they know what support is available, and do they know when they need to involve someone else?
Perhaps most importantly, do people within the organisation feel that it is safe to speak up?
These are not questions that can be answered by a single wellbeing initiative. They are about building capability.
A proactive approach is not about predicting every problem or expecting managers to prevent difficulties from happening. It is about making sure people are better prepared to respond when problems do arise, rather than only thinking about support once a situation has become much harder to manage.
That might mean giving managers the knowledge to recognise potential changes, creating regular opportunities for conversations about wellbeing, making support routes clear and helping managers understand what is expected of them.
Proactive support is about building the capability to respond well, not trying to eliminate every problem.
Confidence comes from knowing what to do next
I have spoken to many managers who genuinely care about their teams but worry that they will say the wrong thing. I completely understand that. Mental health can feel like a difficult subject to navigate, particularly when you are trying to balance being supportive with understanding your professional boundaries.
But I think we sometimes put too much pressure on managers to have the perfect response.There probably is not one.
What we can give managers is something much more practical: the confidence to notice, listen, support and signpost.
To recognise when something has changed. To open the door to a conversation. To listen without trying to fix everything. To understand what support they can provide. And to know when the right thing to do is help someone access further support.
That is what good mental health awareness training should help managers develop.
Not a script. Not a set of perfect answers. Confidence and capability to know what to do next.
HELPING MANAGERS FEEL MORE EQUIPPED
At No Time Like Now, we work with organisations to help managers develop a better understanding of mental health, recognise potential signs of difficulty and feel more confident having appropriate conversations with their people.
Mental Health Awareness Training for Managers is not about asking managers to become mental health professionals. It is about helping them understand their role, their boundaries and the practical steps they can take when they are concerned about someone.
People do not need their managers to fix them. They need managers who notice, listen, support and know when to signpost.
Find out more about Mental Health Awareness Training for Managers
